11 May, 2010

Will taking photos of my bowel stop constipation?

Minister for Police, Corrective Services and Emergency Services
The Honourable Neil Roberts

Dear Mr Roberts,

Considering the bigger picture, how does encouraging more people to drive, reduce congestion?

It is analagous to taking photos of my bowel to display to the food I eat, in order to stop constipation.

The interactions between State controlled roads and local Council controlled roads will be some what problematic.

Would it not be better to invest the $0.9M in informing people how and where to catch public transport or putting the web cams on the bikeways instead?

I wrote the following story for my daughter when she was 8 weeks old. She is now 9 months old and the story is still a work in progress. Perhaps you can assist me by telling me and how the story might end!!

Now the car addicts of Brisbane were dependent on cars.
The cyclists of Brisbane clung to their handle bars.
The roads were quite wide; there was plenty of room.
So you think the cyclists & car drivers would be happy to zoom.
But those in their cars, would yell out in vain,
"Hey you, you cyclists, get out of our lane."

With the soot in the air, cyclists would cough and they'd snort,
For some space on the road a fight would be fought.
And as for pedestrians who resorted to walking,
the car addicts zipped past them without even baulking.

When the car addict's children were dropped off at school,
those who rode bikes or walked were considered un-cool,
Yet they lined up for blocks in the school traffic jams,
you’d think it would be better if they all caught a tram

When the car addicts of Brisbane drove their cars to the coasts,
the traffic was grid locked, while the trains carried ghosts,
they never considered the gases emitted.
Along side the roads was the stuff that they littered.
They commuted to work, they parked there all day,
and didn't think twice of the price that they paid.

Then one day, it seems, while the car addicts
were static, just static grid locked in the traffic,
sitting there, wishing the congestion would ease,
up popped a stranger who was aiming to please.

"My friends, " he announced in a voice almost human,
"I want to be Lord Mayor ‘can-do’ Campbell Newman”.
“I've heard of your traffic; and I have a suggestion
I can fix that; I am the ‘can-do’ of congestion.

I've come here to help you; I’ve seen your dismay,
My tolls will low, and I’ll show the way,
and my public private partnership will be user-pay."

Then quickly, the Lord Mayor ‘can-do’ Campbell Newman,
Proposed a truly remarkable solution.
Then he said, "You want to drive freely from A to B?
I’ll build you a tunnel for a billion dollars or three.
You know you can trust me, I am a man of my word,
Just keep me in office and call me “my Lord"

They elected him Mayor with a nod and a wink.
The Coro Drive bus lanes disappeared in a blink
He dug North-South bypass, he built Hale Street Link .

When the car addicts drove he would charge them a toll!
They actually paid to go down through his hole!
Then as time went by more cars filled the tunnel,
they closed surface roads so the traffic would funnel.
then grid lock returned, and traffic it queued.
the Emperor in new clothes now appeared to be nude!"

"Good grief!" groaned the ones who had been gridlocked before.
"We're no better off, perhaps worse off, we’re not sure.
We are stuck on a freeway in a tunnel they all frowned,
We just took the same problem and moved it underground

Then up stepped Can-do with a nudge and a wink, and he said,
"Things are not quite as bad as you think.
We’ll just make them wider and longer and deeper”.
Their addiction to cars was not going to get cheaper.

So they dug more tunnels and added more lanes
and then had to build wider, longer, deeper storm drains
“we need more bridges & tunnels, " said Can-do.
When you build a new sewer people don’t do more poo,
but when you make the roads wider more people will drive,
Like swarms of angry bees when you mess with their hive.

....to be continued


Rowan Barber
30 Normanby Terrace NORMANBY Q 4059

Minister for Police, Corrective Services and Emergency Services
The Honourable Neil Roberts
Congestion-busting cameras to be doubled

Police Minister Neil Roberts said the number of roadside traffic cameras on state controlled roads in south east Queensland would be doubled in a further bid to ease traffic congestion.

Mr Roberts said more than 50 new web cameras will be rolled out across the south east in the coming months.

The cameras stream live vision to the 131940 traffic website, alerting motorists to potential hazards, traffic snarls, accidents and delays on the road.

"It's great for people who lead busy lives. It'll save time and inconvenience. They can plan their journey before heading out in the car," Mr Roberts said.

"It's a $900,000 investment to double the number of web cams in the south east and it's money well-spent," he said.

Minister Roberts visited the Traffic Management Centre in Brisbane today to see the cameras in action.

"The new cameras will be installed in more than 50 busy roadside locations on the Sunshine Coast, in Brisbane and on the Gold Coast.

"Some of the hot-spots include the corner of Arrow Street and the Pacific Motorway in Brisbane, exit 60 on the M1 on the Gold Coast, and the Anzac Avenue/Bruce Highway interchange on the Sunshine Coast.

"The sites were carefully chosen. They're places that are prone to congestion and traffic build-up for motorists and the freight industry.

"My message to motorists today is to log on to the 13 19 40 website before you grab the car keys. Plan your journey and look for alternative routes if the web cam data indicates heavy traffic."

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