(Water) boy meets girl (Clumsy)

The 22 March is World Water Day.

How shall we celebrate?

It strikes me that this blog post is a cry for help. Professional help.

Over the years, I have done some very silly things...in the name of toilet advocacy with mixed success. Most of my efforts have involved attention seeking behaviour.

In 2006, I shaved my head and auctioned the space on ebay for advertising.

The ad went on display at an amateur rowing crew at a corporate rowing regatta. On this occasion I got to meet the Lord Mayor and the lovely Lord Mayoress. I am trying to recall why I was dressed as a Red Moose. Something to do with the name of the rowing crew.



The 2008 toilet team organised a 100 toilet art exhibition featuring Bob McMullen. The original idea was to decorate the old, high flush volume toilets being torn out all over the city, during an unprecedented 7 year drought.

Somehow, along the way Caroma gave us 100 brand new toilets. We recruited various artisans and designers from around Brisbane to decorated the toilets. Councilor David Hinchliffe painted a lovely willow pattern on his toilet. I remember vaguely collecting a lot of toilets on my bicycle and spending $2.5k on freight. One of us (who shall remain nameless) completely failed to organise an online auction and the toilets sat for a few months in Sof's garage.

In 2009, I celebrated World Toilet Day in solitude, fasting, praying in King George Square, whilst contemplating the climate negotiations that were happening at COP15 in Copenhagen.


























In 2010, we organised a "Where would you hide?" for World Toilet Day. Followed by a QnA forum on "sanitation", with mixed success.

More recently, I accepted @GirlClumsy's offer to pay my flood levee for me.

For the few people who may not know, GirlClumsy is a professional Journalist. Writer. Traveller. Improviser. Actor. Reviewer. Incredible klutz.

Perhaps she can provide some professionalism or some pole dancing talent.

flood levy, budget cuts, reconstruction & relief

The Federal Government has proposed a $550m cut in funding for Carbon Capture &Storage (CCS) initiatives & the Solar Flagships scheme over the five years to 2014-15, plus cuts to other climate programs redirecting more than $5b to flood relief & reconstruction. The proposed cuts to these programs will deliver $1.7b in savings from 2010-11 to 2014-15. An estimated $1.8b will be raised through its proposed flood levy.

The proposed cuts and deferrals to the CCS Flagships program will deliver savings of $250m over the five years from 2010-11 to 2014-15, with proposed spending in 2010-11 left untouched & $128m of the total scheduled to be saved between 2011-12 and 2012-13.
For Solar Flagships, the cuts and deferrals also total $250m over five years, with this year's spending untouched and $125m saved between 2011-12 and 2012-13.
The changes to Solar Flagships comprise $60 million in actual cuts and $190m in deferrals beyond 2014-15, meaning the total life-of-program allocation now stands at $1.44b.
The Solar Flagships council will continue its assessment of the final round one applications received last month, it remains the Government's intention to announce the round-one outcome mid 2011.
The independent assessment of projects shortlisted under the CCS Flagships program is continuing.
Other cuts & deferrals comprise:
• formally abandoning the cash-for-clunkers election promise (saving $429m);
• saving $55m through cuts and deferred funding for Kevin Rudd’s Global Carbon Capture & Storage Institute;
• abolishing the Green Car Innovation Fund ($234m);
• capping funding for solar hot water and heat pump rebates (saving $160m this financial year and next);
• not proceeding with the 'Green Start' household environmental assessment program saving $129m over this year and next);
• capping annual grants for LPG conversions (saving $96m over 2011-12 to 2013-14); and
• limiting expenditure on remaining solar PV rebates under the Solar Homes and Communities Plan (saving $85m this financial year).

These proposed cuts still have to run the gauntlet of a hung Parliament & the Senate. There is already counter proposals on the table from the Leader of the Opposition.

The Federal opposition are opposed to the flood levy.

the 2010 Barber Christmas Letter (the Lord of the Ring Roads)

Lord of the Ring Roads

The Christmas letter continues.....




This is the fifth instalment of a Mills & Boonesque saga about an elf & a fairy who settled in the land of Normanby to live happily ever after......

When the Coordinator General announced that he would approve the Environmental Impact Assessment for the Lord Mayor’s Northern Link Road Tunnel, there was much talk and concern in Normanby.

While the Lord Mayor was not intrinsically evil, he was determined to pander to the interests of On Road Commuters (ORCs). At the same time, he was failing to address the compounding issues of Climate Change and Peak Oil. His day time dream was to complete a ring of tunnels, bridges and roads around the city of Brisbane. It was his “tunnel vision”.







Tunnels are structures which allow some people to drive from point A to point B very fast whilst other people dash from point B to point A very fast.

An Elf, a Fairy, a Bug, a dog (Boutros Boutros Buttons) & three chooks (Julie, Judy & Julia) lived at point C. Point C being a point at the Eastern Portal of the proposed Tunnel. They were often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wished that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.







The Bug was a hybrid of the Elf and the Fairy. She spent her days eating; sleeping & singing tunelessly (just like her father). On the 13th of August the Fairy celebrated her birth. On the 14th of August, the Fairy, the Elf and a plethora of friends & family, celebrated the Bug’s first birthday. On Mondays and Fridays she attended a local Child Care centre where she was learning to paint and share crayons.





The Fairy spent her days managing the day to day affairs of the family and helping the storks deliver other people’s babies. The Fairy was a midwife.





The Elf has dreams of working in international development and/or addressing the compounding issues of Climate Change and/or Peak Oil. In reality, he earned a livelihood in Environmental Management at its very most fundamental. He also ran seminars, workshops and training courses on topics of interest like Coal Seam Gas Development and Ecological Sanitation. He was honoured and privileged to have the opportunity to talk about poo at the Engineers Without Borders National Conference in Melbourne. The Elf was on standby to go to Zimbabwe, PNG and/or Haiti to fight the good fight against easily preventable diseases like cholera.


Whilst the Elf was away in Melbourne, the Fairy hosted a mother’s group at Normanby. Unfortunately, Buttons took advantage of the situation and escaped. He was mercilessly (though unintentionally) run over by a passing ORC. His prognosis was good, but the recovery was slow. Buttons was not fond of wearing his Elizabethan collar.



As Christmas approached the Lord of the Ring Roads and his forces of darkness began Geotechnical investigations in the Normanby precinct in the middle of the night. The Elf awoke to the sounds on a sledge hammer clanging on steel plates. Seismic testing involves using a line of geophones on the ground to measure sound waves from hammering. The elf wished battling the forces of darkness and evil was a simple as tossing a ring of power into the fires of Mount Doom.....



To be continued.....

geotech testing for the Legacy of Debt

Campbell Newman
Lord Mayor
Brisbane City Council

Dear Lord Mayor,

It is 12:06 am (GMT+10) on Thursday 16 December 2010, as I write this email to you.

I arrived home from work at 10:00 pm.

For the last half an hour, a bloke with a sledge hammer has been banging steel on steel on the remains of Ithaca Street which is now part of the Inner City Bypass (ICB).

This demonstrates a number of things to me:

A) how inconsiderate the proponents of the Northern Link Tunnel are;
B) how ineffectual the existing noise barriers that separate my precinct from the ICB are:
C) a taste of things to come when construction of the Northern Link Tunnel begins in earnest.
D) how useless my political representatives at State and Local level have been as advocates for my community

I realise that I was advised in a very polite letter and an email about the commencement of Geotechnical testing.

I am reminded of the following extract from Douglas Adam's book: the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

"Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there, and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be. Point D wasn't anywhere in particular, it was just any convenient point a very long way from points A, B and C"

When some one bangs steel on steel in the middle of the night in close proximity to my house, it makes it difficult for me to sleep and it makes me feel the amenity of my precinct (Point B) is less important to the Brisbane City Council than those who live at Points A, B or D.


regards,

Rowan Barber

epilogue to sneetches

In Novemeber 2009, I wrote a poem (in this blog) about car addicts.

Here is the epilogue:

Then quickly, Sly-Can-do, he had a new dream,
Turn car addicts to cyclists with the CityCycle Scheme
Then, in their suits and their ties, they all pedalled about.
And they rang on their bells and they let out a shout,
It was cool, it was easy! The liked seeing the sights.
The car addicts now were addicted to bikes.

Dear Wayne Swan - Please POSTPONE the NLink

Wayne Swan

Federal Treasurer

Australian Federal Government





Dear Mr Swan,



The Lord Mayor of Brisbane is determined to sign contracts with a consortia: Transcity, comprising BMD, Ghella and Acciona and commence construction of the Northern Link Road Tunnel before the end of 2010.



It would appear that the Lord Mayor has failed to take into consideration the financial failure of the Clem7 and repeated warnings from the Queensland Treasury Corporation that building the Northern Link Road Tunnel might limit the Brisbane City Council's "ability to fund other capital expenditure and could result in deferral of projects".



I would much rather see the deferral of the Northern Link Road Tunnel, than a deferral of other walking, cycling or Public Transport projects or fabulous initiatives such as the purchase of renewable energy and more efficient litter prevention programmes.





Would you please delay or postpone any Federal funding for the Northern Link Road Tunnel until the Brisbane City Council and/or the Queensland Coordinator General can provide a current assessment of the financial, social & ecological risks?



regards,



Rowan Barber



30 Normanby Terrace NORMANBY Q 4059

Was Tunnels all "Can-do" could do? (to the tune of All I want is You)

apologies to Paul Hewson;Dave Evans; Adam Clayton & Larry Mullen Jr for stealing their melody

You say you want
Tunnels & a rings of roads
You say you want
Your TransApex scheme to behold

But all the legacies we leave
From the history books we’ll read
Was tunnels all “Can-do” could do?

You say you'll give me
Northern Link with no one in it
Toowong to Normanby in seven minutes
Though the planet pays the toll!

You say you'll offset
the tunnels by planting trees
A river of green wash Eze
A bikeway network still in fragments
But all the legacies we leave
From the history books we’ll read
Was tunnels all “Can-do” could do?

You say you want
Your tunnel vision to prevail,
Even if it makes more sense to build rail

You say you want
Tunnels on a ring of roads
Your TransApex scheme keep cars in mode
Despite signing up the City Mayor’s Code

All the Codes of ethics we break
From the history books we’ll read
Was tunnels all “Can-do” could do?


Do...all “Can-do” can...
Do...all “Can-do” can
Do...all “Can-do” can...
Do...