you wouldn't read about it!

There are three screens in front of me.

four corners is on TV: The Gina Rhinehart episode.

I am banging on the keyboard of my computer.

A twitter feed is on my phone beside me....

Some of my favourite people on twitter are journalists......but I am gravitating towards following people who reinforce my own view of the world.

I deliberately follow a few people who have a different view of the world, just to challenge "group think".

Day by day, I am watching from the sidelines as traditional business models for receiving news, views, information and entertainment are collapsing.  

So ....we need new business models.

How do I stay informed?

How much will I have to pay?

How do journalists earn livelihoods, if we all stop reading newspapers, listening to commercial radio or watching commercial television?

Impromafia

Here we are now, entertain us.

Last night, my beloved & I, attended the Cherry Blossom heat of Iron Improviser at the Brisbane Arts Theatre.

It had been a while (decades, in fact) since we had been to Theartre Sports, when sit down comedy used to reside at the Dockside Hotel at Kangaroo Point.

Some of the actors (improvisers) looked very familiar and may have been the same actors we knew & loved decades ago. Some of the actors would have been in primary school in the early 1990's. Some of the actors, (although they are barely acquaintances) are very familiar to me, via the voyeurism that is https://twitter.com/#!/

The Master of Ceremonies, some of the audience members & the bloke providing the musical accompaniment were also very familiar to me. Some of there aforementioned & I were growing old & had never (previously) walked in the glow of each other's majestic presence. However, we were well acquainted due to https://twitter.com/#!/.

I digress: https://twitter.com/#!/ is a strange phenomena. One can become intimately acquainted with complete strangers, by following their twitter feed. Facebook seems to be mostly full of people that I used to know. https://twitter.com/#!/ seems to be full of people that I like to know (many of whom, I have never met in person).

The format of Iron Improviser was very similar to the Theartre Sports of old. The games had evolved a little. The actors had evolved a little. One of the actors had procreated and his (~7 year old) daughter was in the audience heckling.

The Master of Ceremonies is a George Street political correspondent by day. Her spare time appears to be taken up writing, directing, producing and performing in amateur theatre. She is very professional. The only amateur aspect is that she appear to all these amazing feats for love and not for money.

I digress again: The arts in Queensland is poorly patronised. Having moved 7 times, across various States: from Brisbane to Melbourne to Brisbane to Port Hedland to Adelaide and eventually settling back in Brisbane.

Some of the best theatre I have ever seen was at the Matt Dann Cultural Centre in South Hedand (North West, Western Australia). The resources sector provided funding for NIDA trained & local enthusiastic actors to put on world class productions (including the Vagina monologues).

My beloved & I have attended the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Adelaide Fringe and I have come to the belief that Brisbane has world class Arts including comedy, theatre etc.... It is a shame that Brisbane theatre lacks the patronage & financial support that one sees interstate and overseas.

....to be continued.....

Never a bride

Natalie Bochenski (also known as GirlClumsy) recently wrote a blog post on never being a bridesmaid. Here is my take on the whole Samantha Brick kerfuffle.

I think the former QldPremier made a valid point the other day when she tweeted: "@girlclumsy good evening! I think it's time for you get a new name - 'girlwonder' for example -'girlclumsy' not good enough for you!"

I digress. Back to the topic at hand.

Firstly, I'd like to comment on the whole 'beauty' thing.

There are "blue chip" public companies who's entire revenue stream depends on making women (and men) feel insecure about our physical appearance.

Fashion, cosmetics, media companies & miscellaneous bloggers all conspire to perpetuate the myths associated with beauty.

As a bloke, with vocational training in biology, chemistry & physics and an amateur interest in psychology & integrated marketing communication, the ads with Megan Gale banging on about the 10 signs of aging, just shit me to tears.

How the hell am I going to raise Bug (aged 2.5) and slug (aged 7 months) into functional, well adjusted women? Bug is skinny & has food intolerances. Slug looks like the Michelin Man.

I don't have good strategies in place yet. For starters: calling them "Bug" & "Slug" probably is not wise. I wonder how I raise confident, self assured kids who don't rely on face paint & glad rags for their esteem. How do I teach them self worth that is not comparative?

One thing I have learnt, is that self esteem (by my functional definition) can fluctuate with moods & circumstance. Self worth has to be the intrinsic value one attributes to oneself in spite of mood & circumstances.

Secondly, although I have compromised my androgeny by growing a beard, most of my close friends are women. I have filled the role of a bridesmaid. I don't think it had anything to do with my beauty or lack there of.

Thirdly, as a parent of infants, I don't have a lot of disposable time to invest in maintaining close friendships. My bestest friend is my beloved wife.

Clive Palmer

Clive Palmer is suing.....again.

In the lead up to the last Qld State election, Professor Clive Palmer launched a defamation action against Premier Anna Bligh and Treasurer Andrew Fraser.

In the lead up to the next State election, he is suing Qld Rail amongst others. It is interesting that Mr Palmer sees these as completely unrelated incidents.

Journalist, blogger, actress, producer: Natalie Bochenski captured the following fascinating audio of a press conference that Clive Palmer held recently.

Subsequently, Clive has appeared on:

* Steve Austin's Morning Program on 612Brisbane;

* Tony Jone's LateLine

I am convinced that Clive Palmer is a better (and more legitimate) leader of the Liberal National Party than Campbell Newman.

The making of "How to be a man"

I don't get out much. Perhaps I should. It is hard to escape the share house, that I co-habit with an 11 week old, a two year old and my beloved.

Like most share houses, my house mates spend most of their time drinking, vomiting and looking for their other shoe.

Tonight I went traveling through space and time. I did not have to travel far, to get to the my neighbourhood Arts Theatre......

For today was World Toilet Day and I celebrated by attending a charity, fundraiser performance of a theatre production, otherwise known as "How To Be A Man"...

#HTBAM is the third play in a falafel triology which started with the He Died With a Felafel in His Hand. It is useful to know that the writer Simon Bedak and the director Natalie Bochenski have conspired before on stage productions of Felafel and its first sequel: The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco.... However according to the Natalie, in order to enjoy the play, one does not need to have seen the prequels.

Incidentally, in the course of attending #HTBAM, I happened to meet Greg Wah & Dan Beeston - who are collectively Smart Enough to know Better. The Wah did a top job of raffling off stuff. I think Kat should recruit him to run more raffles for Engineers Without Borders. Apparently DNABeat is credited with shaping the aural landscape of #HTBAM which may explain a lot. The soundtrack to #htbam was freaking awesome. I was particularly impressed with the way Dan jammed #Toto &They Might Be Giants in there.

#HTBAM is the third play in a falafel trilogy, all based loosely on the life and writings of John Birmingham. When I say loosely, I might qualify that I have never personally met JB. I have not read or seen the Felafal prequels as books, plays or the movie. I have never played the board game or collected the Felafal bubble gum cards. So what would I know?

I actually tried to download an electronic copy of the book "How To Be a Man". I finally resorted to borrowing a copy from the Brisbane City Council library. I was surprised to find that it was in the non-fiction section and it was not written on rolls of toilet paper.

I follow John Birmingham on Twitter. I discovered JB and @GirlClumsy via the Fake Campbell Newman. I listened to JB occasionally (and retrospectively) on ABC Local Radio. I have read some of his rants in the Brisbane Times. The things I glean from JB on twitter did not correspond very well with the JB portrayed in the parallel universe, that is the Brisbane Arts Theatre. The JB that I imagine is a family man, a coach of under elevens sports teams and a sharp witted columnist. The occasional exchanges I have had with JB on twitter, have been about Spanish food, parenthood and World Toilet Day.

JB's bio on Amazon reads:

Right now I'm probably kicking back on my hovercraft somewhere in the Antilles, or the Maldives, enjoying a dissolute, essentially meaningless life funded by your generous book purchases. Please, don't make me go back to selling my bodily fluids to science. Buy my books now and I promise to keep indulging myself in grotesque pleasures and luxury that I haven't really earned.

The JB of #HTBAM is on the run from the Australian Tax Office and probably in need of the Australian Toilet Organisation (the other ATO). The JB of #HTBAM smokes a hell of lot of recreational drugs. Now, while I led a relatively sheltered youth, the friends of mine who did play with recreational drugs lost too much of their cognitive functions to host daytime radio or write the occasional novel and an opinion piece in the Brisbane Times, twice a week.

I still have no idea who Dirk Flinthart is. Bergie the Eskimo remains an enigma to me. The cameo appearance by a Bob Katter impersonator was truly spectacular.

If you want to meet the JB of #HTBAM, the play is on until 17 December 2011 including:

Thursday 24 November 2011 @ 8pm
Friday 25 November 2011 @ 8pm
Saturday 26 November 2011 @ 8pm

Thursday 1 December 2011 @ 8pm
Friday 2 December 2011 @ 8pm
Saturday 3 December 2011 @ 8pm

Thursday 8 December 2011 @ 8pm

Friday 9 December 2011 @ 8pm
Saturday 10 December 2011 @ 8pm

Thursday 15 December 2011 @ 8pm

Friday 16 December 2011 @ 8pm
Saturday 17 December 2011 @ 8pm

If you'd like to meet the real @johnbirmingham, apparently he will be at RiverbendBooks this Wednesday night (23 November 2011)...

Toilet Humour for World Toilet Day

Brisbane Arts Theatre helps Engineers Without Borders with special fundraising performance

The Brisbane Arts Theatre’s latest production - How To Be A Man - has its fair share of toilet humour.

But on Saturday 19 November - World Toilet Day - it’s all for a serious cause.

The BAT is teaming up with the South-East Queensland chapter of Engineers Without Borders, to raise awareness and funds of their work providing critical sanitation for some of the world’s most disadvantaged communities.

$2 from every ticket sold at How To Be A Man on 19 November will go to EWB, as well as proceeds of a large raffle and casual donations.

“We want people to come out and have a laugh, as our play contains high levels of toilet humour,” says director Natalie Bochenski.

“But it’s a great way to get across the serious message of the world’s sanitation crisis, and do our bit to help.”

“2.6 billion people do not have a designated, sustainable place to poo or wee,” says Rowan Barber, a Brisbane engineer and member of EWB.

“The statistics are unfathomable - every 8 seconds, a child dies from easily preventable, fecal- related illness.

Rowan says even the word “sanitation” fails to convey the gravity of the situation. “People are dying because they live and breathe poo. Children suffer malnutrition, not because of a lack of food but because their food passes through them. Dysentery. Diarrhea. Vomiting. These are the symptoms of the crisis.”

The good news is Engineers Without Borders DOES make a difference. All funds raised from the BAT’s charity performance will support the organisation in projects such as building latrines for floating villages along the Tonle Sap river in Cambodia; or closer to home, a culturally-appropriate amenities block at the Murra Murra indigenous homestead past St George, in South-West Queensland.

Rowan says we’ve become a “flush and forget” society; and it’s a good time to think of the local impacts of our waste.

In 2010/2011, 149,198 ML of poo, wee and wastewater was generated by 1.3 million Brisbane residents and 4,700 tradewaste customers,” says Rowan.

“That works out about 164 Olympic size swimming pools a day.”

How To Be A Man

Charity Performance for World Toilet Day

Saturday 19 November

$2 from each ticket sold will go to Engineers Without Borders

Warning: Production contains explicit content & adult themes

TOILET TRIVIA

World Toilet Day was founded in 2001 by the World Toilet Organisation, and is celebrated

every year on 19 November. (http://www.worldtoilet.org/wto/index.php/our-works/world-

toilet-day)

Many organisations support this day with fundraising/awareness efforts; including Engineers

Without Borders (www.ewb.org.au). This is where the BAT’s charity efforts will go.

"EWB cultivates long-term relationship with communities, both here and overseas, and we

focus on building on the strengths of those communities, so that they are more able to

manage their own future. Most of us here in Australia take things like clean toilets for

granted. We want people everywhere to be able to live their lives free from diseases and

disadvantages that are easily preventable by having appropriate and well-designed sanitation

systems." - Kat Healey (EWB SEQ Chapter President)

The World Health Organisation has a great list of 10 quick facts about sanitation. (http://

www.who.int/features/factfiles/sanitation/facts/en/index.html). One of the most revealing is

that a lack of safe, secure toilets can often disrupt girls’ schooling, particularly as they reach

puberty. Better toilets equals better education!

The Brisbane Arts Theatre has a urinal named after author John Birmingham and playwright

Simon Bedak, after the success of our previous productions He Died With a Felafel in His Hand

(2009) and The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco (2010).

The Brisbane Arts Theatre is an independent community organisation that receives no

ongoing government or corporate sponsorship.

How To Be A Man

Plays Thurs to Sat nights from 8pm

12 November to 17 December

Tickets $31 adults; $25 concession; $20 members

Book online: www.artstheatre.com.au

(Water) boy meets girl (Clumsy)

The 22 March is World Water Day.

How shall we celebrate?

It strikes me that this blog post is a cry for help. Professional help.

Over the years, I have done some very silly things...in the name of toilet advocacy with mixed success. Most of my efforts have involved attention seeking behaviour.

In 2006, I shaved my head and auctioned the space on ebay for advertising.

The ad went on display at an amateur rowing crew at a corporate rowing regatta. On this occasion I got to meet the Lord Mayor and the lovely Lord Mayoress. I am trying to recall why I was dressed as a Red Moose. Something to do with the name of the rowing crew.



The 2008 toilet team organised a 100 toilet art exhibition featuring Bob McMullen. The original idea was to decorate the old, high flush volume toilets being torn out all over the city, during an unprecedented 7 year drought.

Somehow, along the way Caroma gave us 100 brand new toilets. We recruited various artisans and designers from around Brisbane to decorated the toilets. Councilor David Hinchliffe painted a lovely willow pattern on his toilet. I remember vaguely collecting a lot of toilets on my bicycle and spending $2.5k on freight. One of us (who shall remain nameless) completely failed to organise an online auction and the toilets sat for a few months in Sof's garage.

In 2009, I celebrated World Toilet Day in solitude, fasting, praying in King George Square, whilst contemplating the climate negotiations that were happening at COP15 in Copenhagen.


























In 2010, we organised a "Where would you hide?" for World Toilet Day. Followed by a QnA forum on "sanitation", with mixed success.

More recently, I accepted @GirlClumsy's offer to pay my flood levee for me.

For the few people who may not know, GirlClumsy is a professional Journalist. Writer. Traveller. Improviser. Actor. Reviewer. Incredible klutz.

Perhaps she can provide some professionalism or some pole dancing talent.