Surfin Poo & Wee

"Well everybody did a motion,
Across the U.S.E*....
And it all ends up in the ocean,
We're surfing poo & wee,
You’d see em flushing the toliet
mixing their ones & twos
flushin with potable water,
Surfin wee & poo

Sewage has primary treatment,
To remove the chunks that stink,
By the time its tertiary treated,
It could be fit to drink....
All that embodied energy,
Embodied water too...
Would it not be better to separate our ones & twos?


You see the deep outfalls at Bondi
& discharged at Potter Point
Sepia Depression & Bolivar
Sandgate and Luggage Point
All over Port Phillip Bay
And Gunnamatta Beach

Everybodys gone surfin
Surfin wee & poo

We all mix our wee & poo,
We’re gonna flush real soon
We’re flushing down our faeces
We just waste our poo
We could be growing our veges
We could be growing a tree
Tell Jack Sim were surfin
Surfin poo & wee

Gibson Island desal plant
is keeping Incitec cool
they waste the Nitrogen & phosphorus
then burn the fossil fuel
All over Australia
We mix our ones & twos
Everybodys gone surfin
Surfin wee & poo

Everybodys gone surfin
Surfin wee & poo.

Everybodys gone surfin
Surfin wee & poo


*United States of emergency

Baked Development

Danielle Crismani inspires me.

"My name is Rowan and I am a petroleum industry process engineer, it has been 6 years since I last drove a car."

This is my petroleum anonymous statement of affirmation.

I have been pondering the difference between "relief" and "development"

Elizabeth Webb Brown - the CEO of EWB wrote recently:

These events remind us of the critical importance of disaster preparedness and the subsequent humanitarian response. EWB continues its work to support long-term community development projects. In doing so, we aim to build the technical capacity of disadvantaged communities. In time, we believe this process will also improve their resilience to events like these ones we’ve witnessed over the past two months. EWB is also working in close partnership with RedR, as they work to support communities in the wake of natural disasters and conflict – www.redr.org.au.

My ambition is to work in international development but this is unlikely while I raise infants. So, the best thing I can do for the international community is encourage sustainable living in my own community.

I would love to see Baked Relief move beyond relief and work to subvert the dominant paradigms of the industrial food system. Food Connect is halfway there but we need to learn to cook again.

Ecoforum, Minchin Vs Garnaut, NZ's ETS, Pork Barrels

The Australian Sustainable Business Group (ASBG) are still in discussions with NortonRose on the best ways to deliver some workshops on the ever changing Carbon market. Public Holidays, school Holidays and other time constraints are making it difficult.

Stay tuned for a series of half day workshops in May, June & July as more detail is revealed by the Federal Government. ASBG is working with NortonRose to provide up to the moment information on the implications for business of the Carbon Price Architecture announcements.

In another half day workshop a representative from DERM will discuss "how to stay out of trouble with the regulator."

Yet another half day workshop will follow, for those with an interest in Safety. Particularly, changes to Dangerous goods regulation and the new chemical classification and labelling systems.

ASBG is also planning a number of FREE public evening forums on Sustainability, with moderated panel discussions.


ASBG at Ecoforum


This week ASBG participated in an Ecoforum Workshop. The stated objective of the workshop was to encourage “business” to interact with community groups to increase understanding and bring about cooperation between industry and community.

I think it is an important objective to engage Community Groups with Technical Specialists. It is essential to raise the technical knowledge of community groups. They appear to lack the very basics of water chemistry, biology, ecology and the associated institutional arrangements.

We achieved a great deal and had the opportunity to discuss future strategies with David Bates – one of the convenors of EcoForum.


Senator Nick Minchin vs Professor Ross Garnaut

Senior Liberal Nick Minchin says the earth is more likely to be cooling than warming. The Senator has criticised Professor Ross Garnaut for being "on the Government's payroll".

While the debate about the Gillard Government's carbon tax plan, continues to rage, Professor Garnaut warned that the scientific case for climate change had strengthened the position that the Earth is warming and that human emissions of greenhouse gases are the main cause.

Senator Minchin - who led the Liberal Party's move to dump leader Malcolm Turnbull over his support for action over climate change - says Professor Garnaut, an economist, "knows nothing about the climate".

One can contact to Senator Minchin via his website or by snail mail:

PO BOX 2141
Kent Town SA 5071

One can also find Professor Garnaut review updates online.

New Zealand steps closer to an Emission Trading Scheme

A panel reviewing New Zealand's emissions trading scheme has issued a discussion paper summarising the impacts and soliciting for feedback.
The NZ scheme starts with a very soft start. The current NZ discussion paper solicits views on ramping up the scheme. NZ’s ETS only requires liable parties to surrender one unit for every two tonnes of emissions until the end of 2012.
Liable parties can currently also opt to pay a fixed price of $25 per emissions unit. About 50% of New Zealand's emissions come from agriculture, and agricultural processors are due to enter the scheme in 2015.
The paper says the average dairy farmer currently incurs working expenses of about $494,000 and the entry of agricultural processors into the scheme will increase these costs by about $10,000.
Sheep and beef farms currently incur average working expenses of $180,000 a year and these will rise by $5,500 a year.

Ray Smith’s Barrel of pork

Labor Candidate for Lord Mayor of Brisbane (2012) Ray Smith wants to hand out $100 in water rebates (barrels of pork), while billions of dollars of water recycling infrastructure at Bundamba, Gibson Island & Luggage Point sits idle.

Councillor Adrian Schrinner (Brisbane City Council’s Finance committee chair) suggested that Ray Smith's proposed water rebate would result in cuts to Parks and Libraries. Ironically (and/or hypocritically) the Lord Mayor Campbell Newman has already cut funds to roads, parks, libraries and community grants to fund flood reconstruction & his beloved Northern Link Road tunnel

Brisbane, Ipswich and the Scenic rims sewers are now operated and (poorly) maintained by Queensland Urban Utilities.

QUU is the water and wastewater business servicing the five local authorities of Brisbane, Ipswich, Lockyer Valley, Scenic Rim and Somerset. QUU is jointly owned by the five councils and operates as a statutory authority. The sewers & water distribution networks are suffering from years of neglect & every second week another water main erupts under a sink hole.

Brisbane’s Lord Mayor – Campbell Newman, Ray Smith and Premier Anna Bligh appear to be too focused on election cycles.

Water & sanitation infrastructure is too critical to be neglected & milked for cash by short term thinking.

some love to cook, I cook to love

I am inspired by passionate people.

I am inspired by people who are actually making a difference.

I am way impressed with the work of Danielle Crismani (also known as DigellaBakes) the founder of Baked Relief

According to Digella:

On Monday 10 Jan 2011 I hashtagged #bakedrelief to rally support for volunteers working on Brisbane floods. It got BiG!

As the water recedes and the mud is washed away from South East Queensland & when the dust settles over Christchurch, I wonder if BakedRelief could ever become BakedDevelopment.

Let me explain.

In the circles that I mix in international development we distinguish between emergency relief and development assistance.

Emergency Relief is often the essential but short term band aid solutions, in response to an immediate crisis.

I believe Development Assistance (when done properly & effectively) is about bringing communities out of poverty, whilst promoting ecological sustainability, resilience and self reliance.

In my short terms exposure to working in international development assistance, I have come to believe that many developing communities have more to offer me, than I have to offer them.

For the time being, I am limited geographically to working in my own community, whilst I raise infant/s. I spend a lot of my time at the moment as a part-time, stay-at-home Dad.

One of my duties is to cook for both my baby and my beloved wife.

Some people love to cook. I hate it. I am not very skilled at it. I understand a great deal of the theory but I am really quite hopeless in the kitchen.

I have no attention to detail.

I have a tendency to short-cut, leave out essential ingredients or substitute ingredients.

I have no appetite. I often forget to eat. For me, eating is a chore and cooking more so.

However, my attitudes are changing.

I am trying to learn to cook. I cook to demonstrate my love for my beloved wife & child in a tangible way.

If I say that I love them, but feed them pig slop, then there is no proof of the pudding in the eating.

I love my wife. I love my child. I love my planet.

I am taking the time to think about the food that I buy, the meals that I prepare as a demonstration of that love.

It is alleged that Jesus said words to the effect:

"What father among you, if his son asks for bread, would give him a stone, or if he asks for a fish, would give him a snake instead of the fish?

My daughter has not asked me for bread yet. She just screams when she is hungry or points at things and says "mummy, mummy, mummy".

My wife does not ask me for bread either. She just expects that, after a twelve hour day of vocational pursuits, I would be considerate enough to have a meal on the table, when she walks in the door.

If the food I prepare is an act of love. Then I am challenged to think about where it has come from. Who are farmers who grow the food? Do I love them?

Do I show my appreciation to those who grow, process and deliver my food? Do I even know where my food comes from?

Do I love the land? Do I love my country?

In a democratic society, every purchasing decision is a vote. Everything I buy is an exertion of my political will.

Do I support the trans-national companies or do I support family businesses? Do I support sustainable farming practices? Do I believe in fair trade?

For over a year, I have been buying a box of mixed fruit & vegetables from Food Connect, every second week. .......but Food Connect is only half the picture. I need to learn to cook.

That is where I see a need for BakedDevelopment.

By way of allegory, BakedRelief might give a man a fish so he can eat for a day.

BakedDevelopment might teach a man how to cook a fish, to demonstrate his love for his wife & child. BakedDevelopment might help a man choose a fish that is not an endangered species, so that there are still fish to eat when his daughter grows up.

the day RiverWalk died (version 2)

A short, short time ago,
I can still remember,
The RiverWalk I used to ride,
And If I had just once more chance,
I have it secured right to the banks,
Not let it float away on Brisbane's tide.

But February made me shiver,
The budget cuts "Can-do" delivered,
Bad news on the internets,
I couldn't take one more step.

I do remember that I cried,
During "we breed them tough" by Anna Bligh,
But something touched the bike I ride,
The day RiverWalk died.

So bye, bye RiverWalk on the tide,
Gettin’ heavy on flood levy,
But we all can see why.
I can't stop Northern Link but I am willing to try....
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie,
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie...

Did you read from the library,
And do you have faith in democracy,
If Tony Jones tells you so?
Do you believe in paying tolls,
Would you drive down through Campbell’s hole,
though grants & books & parks all had to go?

Well, I know that you’ll all vote for him
`cause I saw the Galaxy polling.
Eighty two percent support.
Who would have ever thought?

I was a daring, maverick cycling buck,
Until run down by a seven tonne truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day RiverWalk died

I started singin,
Bye, bye RiverWalk on the tide,
Gettin’ heavy on flood levy,
But we all can see why,
I can't stop Northern Link but I am willing to try....
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie,
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie...

For seven years Campbell’s been the Mayor,
And initially, we did not care,
while Labor had a majority.
but when we elected Can-do’s team,
His tunnel vision that had been a dream
became my nightmare, in reality.

Oh, with Labor in a minority,
Quirky became the Deputy.
The Council was now stacked,
No democracy in fact.
After Marr wrote an essay on KRudd,
Brisbane drowned in the ‘11 flood,
And Kevin laboured in the mud,
The day the RiverWalk died.

We were singin,
So bye, bye RiverWalk on the tide,
Gettin’ heavy on flood levy,
But we all can see why,
I can't stop Northern Link but I am willing to try....
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie,
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie...

On a mission for a tunnel vision.
Colin Jensen made the decision,
and now he is the CEO.
Colin landed on his feet.
Graham Quirk would take the heat,
With Quirky texting tactics from his phone.

Now the Council budget belly flopped,
Parks, library books & grants were stopped.
We all got on our bikes,
Oh, but there was nowhere to ride!
`cause the motorists all took to the road;
The cash was spent & money was owed
Do you recall the banks overflowed
The day RiverWalk died?

We started singing,
So bye, bye RiverWalk on the tide,
Gettin’ heavy on flood levy,
But we all can see why,
I can't stop Northern Link but I am willing to try....
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie,
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie...

Oh, and there we were all in the mud,
A city drowned by another flood,
With no time left to build again.
So come on: Ray be dexterous, take this on!
Will Ray Smith lobby Fraser & Swan,
Cause Labor paid for this tunnel in the end.

Oh, as I watched RiverCity go broke,
Clem7 gave me a little hope,
No accountant with an ace,
Could make that business case.
And as the Lord Mayor kept on writing checks
the boy sat on the burning deck,
I saw a Legacy of Debt,
The day RiverWalk died

He was singing,
bye, bye RiverWalk on the tide,
Gettin' heavy on flood levy,
But we all can see why,
I can't stop Northern Link but I am willing to try....
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie,
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie...

I met a girl who was clumsy
And she paid my flood levy for me,
It went towards world toilets anyway.
I went down to the riverside,
Along the banks I used to ride,
But the RiverWalk was still washed away.

And in Parliament: the members screamed,
The cyclists cried, and the Campbell schemed.
But not a cent was given;
The bikes could not be ridden.
And the three for whom my heart is torn:
Wifey, child and one unborn,
They woke to noise from dusk to dawn,
The day RiverWalk died.

And they were singing,
So bye, bye RiverWalk on the tide,
Gettin' heavy on flood levy,
But we all can see why,
I can't stop Northern Link but I am willing to try....
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie,
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie...

They were singing,
bye, bye RiverWalk on the tide,
Gettin' heavy on flood levy,
But we all can see why,
I can't stop Northern Link but I am willing to try....
In front of the bulldozers, I will lie,

the day RiverWalk died

A short, short time ago,
I can still remember,
The RiverWalk I used to ride,
And If I had just once more chance,
I have it secured to the banks,
Not let it float away on Brisbane's tide.

But February made me shiver,
The budget cuts "Can-do" delivered,
Bad news on the internets,
I couldn't take one more step.

I do remember that I cried,
During "we breed them tough" by Anna Bligh,
But something touched the bike I ride,
The day RiverWalk died.

So bye, bye RiverWalk on the tide,
Getting heavy on flood levy,
But we all can see why,
I can't stop Northern Link but I am willing to try....
In front of bulldozers, I will lie,
In front of bulldozers, I will lie...

.....to be continued...........

(Water) boy meets girl (Clumsy)

The 22 March is World Water Day.

How shall we celebrate?

It strikes me that this blog post is a cry for help. Professional help.

Over the years, I have done some very silly things...in the name of toilet advocacy with mixed success. Most of my efforts have involved attention seeking behaviour.

In 2006, I shaved my head and auctioned the space on ebay for advertising.

The ad went on display at an amateur rowing crew at a corporate rowing regatta. On this occasion I got to meet the Lord Mayor and the lovely Lord Mayoress. I am trying to recall why I was dressed as a Red Moose. Something to do with the name of the rowing crew.



The 2008 toilet team organised a 100 toilet art exhibition featuring Bob McMullen. The original idea was to decorate the old, high flush volume toilets being torn out all over the city, during an unprecedented 7 year drought.

Somehow, along the way Caroma gave us 100 brand new toilets. We recruited various artisans and designers from around Brisbane to decorated the toilets. Councilor David Hinchliffe painted a lovely willow pattern on his toilet. I remember vaguely collecting a lot of toilets on my bicycle and spending $2.5k on freight. One of us (who shall remain nameless) completely failed to organise an online auction and the toilets sat for a few months in Sof's garage.

In 2009, I celebrated World Toilet Day in solitude, fasting, praying in King George Square, whilst contemplating the climate negotiations that were happening at COP15 in Copenhagen.


























In 2010, we organised a "Where would you hide?" for World Toilet Day. Followed by a QnA forum on "sanitation", with mixed success.

More recently, I accepted @GirlClumsy's offer to pay my flood levee for me.

For the few people who may not know, GirlClumsy is a professional Journalist. Writer. Traveller. Improviser. Actor. Reviewer. Incredible klutz.

Perhaps she can provide some professionalism or some pole dancing talent.